Sunday, December 23, 2012

2 months ago I was a normal 27 year old man.  Had a new job, a new car and my life seemed like it was on track.  I had an amazing girlfriend and I stressed about all of the pointless things in life we stress about everyday.  2 months ago I was normal, and then I wasn't.  I still recall that friday afternoon happy hour with my co-workers from IMS, "I can only stay for a drink, I have to go to a CT scan just to rule anything out, my brain has been feeling a bit strange lately and my doctor is being paranoid."  Maybe I was being paranoid, maybe my doctor saved my life.  All I know is that I am beyond thankful that she ordered that scan 2 months ago.  Since the the second I walked out of that CT scan I knew something was wrong.  I walked out of the chamber where the x-rays slam into my body in an invisible fashion and extract images from bone and matter in my brain.  All the while I feel nothing, yet know the poisons that are coursing through my body.  Upon greeting the technician outside of the room he engaged me, "Been having headaches?"  As this isn't obvious enough, I am sure 99% of all people who have their brained scanned have some sort of headaches, right?  But to which I responded, 'yea a bit.'  He then proceded to point out exactly where my headaches were and ask if they were severe or frequent.  The first conversation I had as a newly paired group of acquaintances was an x-ray technician diagnosing my growing tumor.  "Well I don't personally read these, I just put the data through and your doctor will call you on Monday."  Awesome, now I have all weekend to wonder why he knew exactly where my headaches were located.  That weekend went by slower than anything I can remember.  I tried to forget what he had told me, but it is a task far easier said than done.  That Sunday night a group of my friends and I went to The Queen Mary Dark Harbor Haunted Mazes in Long Beach.  By the end of the night my head felt like it was in a vise and I was exceptionally tired.  Like always, I chalked it up to the the 3 beers and crappy food I had eaten at the Queen Mary, but in the back of my mind I knew.  I knew before the call, I knew before any doctor told me what was happening.  I knew my life was going to be different from the second I walked out of that x-ray room.  I knew I had a tumor in my brain and now I know I have cancer.

Accepting cancer at 27 is not an easy task.  Accepting cancer at 77 is not an easy task.  There is no age where hearing you have cancer is allowable, let alone wanted.  Please do not mistake this for self pity or sorrow.  I have seen things that are far worse than any situation I will ever go through.  Traveling through South Africa a couple years ago exposed me to some terrible things and since that moment in my life I knew I had lived a life that most all people can only dream about.  I was able to go out of my way to help people and try and solve some small problems that might one day lead to something great.  It truly changed my perspective on life and experiencing those cultures has changed me for the better.  I have no sympathy for myself, this disease is in my body and where it goes from there is up to the greater good, the God or God's of the universe or whatever power it is that is truly behind the strings of this thing called life.  With this being said, my life is now on a particular and strange path.  I am 27, I do not want to die.  I do not want to die in 5 years, 20 or even 40 years.  I hope to live a long life with my family and friends.  I want to retire one day and spend my evenings sipping whiskey on my porch watching the sunset over some exotic ranch or beach in a country far away from here.  This is my new goal.  My life took on a new meaning the second the oncologist came back with her initial diagnosis of cancer.  The words shook my soul and for a second I truly questioned if what I was hearing was correct.  Since day one I have been preparing for the worst and mentally praying and hoping for the best.  There was always a small piece of me that was holding out for the good news, only truly knowing that there would never be any.

On a grand scale cancer is the most diverse and hardly defined area of medicine and research.  I very briefly was given a crash course in 2004 when my mother passed away from breast cancer, today I can say I am basically a mediocre oncologist.  I have done hundreds of hours of research, investigating, trials, and everything in between.  The internet is a vast and endless outlet with answers to most every question one might have.  It is simply a matter or sorting through the hogwash and finding validity in studies, research and pharmaceuticals.  Cancer has been a developing issue in the Western World since the onset of WWII.  People demanded faster, cheaper and better sustainable products forcing companies to begin using unnatural combinations of foods, chemicals and every other assortment of toxin to try and find the cheapest fastest and easiest way to manufacture object X.  After WWII we set ourselves up on the fast track to terrible health with foods soiled in unnatural pesticides, preservatives, copious amounts of sugars, fats and foods that our bodies simply did not understand.  We evolved eating a certain way for millions of years, within the last 200 years our bodies have changed more than the past 2 million.  Simply put, we can not accept this change without some rejection.  This is where cancer forms.  Cancer is what happens when your body basically starts to reject the direction your DNA is headed.  EVERYTHING YOU PUT INTO YOUR BODY DIRECTLY AFFECTS IT!  Every ounce of sugar, all the unnatural and refined meats, everything you eat will eventually become you.  It is paramount to understand that not everyone will develop cancer.  We all live with cancer cells, but not every human will have these cells stem to life and form the deadly tumors that are all too familiar.  There are hundreds of overweight people who live on diets of soda pop, burgers and fries their entire lives and never even develop high cholesterol.  But for every person who lives this lifestyle there are countless others that will one day be broken with the news that their body has ultimately turned against them and they will start the fight of their lives.  I lived this arrogance for 27 years before truly understanding exactly what I was doing.  It is ultimately ignorant and very absurd to say our diet in no way affects our lifestyle.  The fuels we use to feed our bodies are paramount in our daily fights against the millions of toxins we are unknowingly exposed to every day all day long!  Doing a simply 'google' search on air quality in your local neighborhood will open your eyes to some interesting facts.  Before the turn of the century we didn't depend on fossil fuels nearly as much as we do today.  In our modern world, we are now exposed to Millions of Tons of toxins in our atmosphere.  (Maybe those weird Chinese guys with the medical masks on aren't so dumb after all!)

My Life has changed, dramatically.  I am now a 27 year old cancer patient with an unknown future.  I hope that through my words and my own knowledge I can share what I am going through and help just a couple of people.  This is the first page of my new life.  I plan on making some very big changes in the coming weeks and months, I just hope I do not offend or piss anyone off on my way to what I think my best suited recovery is going to be.  I have been through cancer before, I have seen how evil chemo and and radiation can be and I know that there are other alternatives.  The truth and the cure is out there somewhere, it just needs to be found.  I think in time cancer will be wiped from our planet and this evil disease will become a thing of tales and folk lore, but until then I will fight the good fight.  I will carry on and never give up.  These are my promises to all of you, if you guys are up for the task, join me in making some easy changes in your lives and maybe become a little bit healthier on the way.  I truly hope you all understand the choices I am making and are not offended that I might refuse traditional Western treatment.  I am so worried that people will just accept what the doctor tells them without doing their own investigation and research, all I ask is that if you truly want to dispute my decisions, please provide me with facts, numbers, figures and scientific studies that will prove your point.  Just listening to a doctor is not excuse enough for me, I must live with the choices I make on a daily basis and I have too many people who love me to leave this earth this young.

With all of that news our of the way, I have now been out of the hospital since Wednesday.  The doctors have truly been astounded at my rate of recovery and the fact that I a literally have no symptoms or side effects from the procedure.  My sleep schedule is quite interesting and I find I get extremely tired around 7:30pm and asleep by 8pm-  Up by 3am then asleep again by 5am and finally up by 8 am again!  Last night I decided I wanted to go to dinner so after a visit from The Stearman family, Darryl and Johnny C, I went to sushi across the street from Tashas house and had an amazing roll.  Needless to say by the end of the meal I was exhausted and made it home just in time for my bi-daily meds and fell asleep.  It was exceptionally nice getting outside finally and not being stuck in bed all the time.  My daily walks are getting longer and everyday I feel my strength coming back to me.  I will be back to 100% in no time and that I can guarantee!   

Friends are fun!

My new life starts today, and from this day forward my life is eternally different.  Some people may question some of the choices I make going forward, but know that every choice I make I am putting extensive research and determination into.  With this being said everyone wants to know how they can help, well the sad truth is that most all the therapies I am going to focus on are going to expensive.  Very expensive.  I dont come from a ton of money and they money I have collected so far is going to be a great start, but I am hoping to be able to raise more not just for myself, but for others.  I have found a new passion in life and this has truly taken over my daily routine.  I hope to be able to start a foundation to work with adolescents in the same situation as myself and help mentor them as best as I can.  I truly feel like I have found a voice in something that I might be able to help make a change in this world for the better.  We will continue selling T-shirts designed by Lira and anything else you wish to contribute is awesome!  And as always, every mental hug, high five and handhake is free of charge!  (I truly think that my healing is closely associated to how much love and help I have surrounded myself with these last 2 months!) 
Here are the shirts- both styles are in black and white!

$20 =)

I am currently working on a website that will become the new medium for my 'blogging' and or story telling.  I hope to have it complete in a couple of weeks with updates on everything from my recovery to tips on how to help improve your life daily!

If ya wanna donate click here

Ryans Epic Battle

To order a shirt please email me at johnryancoffelt@gmail(dot)com - include name, size, style color and where you want it shipped :)  We will begin shipping them next week with any luck!

I leave you all today with a quote from Elbert Hubbard, "Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive."


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