Monday, May 27, 2013

It is an interesting and very tight rope we learn to walk when fighting cancer.  Positivity and optimism are almost as crucial (if not more) than the treatment itself.  Many people are diagnosed and in their minds that is it.  Upon hearing the news they go home, lock themselves away and accept an early death not even thinking they have a shot.  This is not an irrational way of dealing with cancer and with all the evidence suggesting this is usually the end game, this way of thinking is totally understandable.  The thing is though, this gets you nowhere and only makes what time you think you have left more and more devastating.  The mental side of cancer is almost unbearable at times.  Nobody wants to accept their own mortality and the fact that it is your own body that is trying to kill itself makes it exponentially worse.

Staying positive and never once thinking that my end is anywhere near me has kept me going.  I am not an idiot nor naive to the point where I deny where this road could lead, but I chose not think about that.  Yes, it is hard.  It is the hardest thing ever sometimes, but that is temporary and it, like everything else will eventually pass.  When it is not hard, life is even more amazing than it was before.  You see things differently, you accept things easier, you start to see things you never noticed before in other people and recognizing peoples positive and negative energies either draws you or pulls you away from people in your life.  Never giving in and never giving up is the only option for me and everyone else in this unchosen war for life.  

An extremely close family friend and second mother of mine is currently in the same battle I am in.  She is fighting an aggressive breast cancer with her war waging for over 2 and a half years now.  She is the ultimate warrior of life and she is stronger than anyone I know.  She is not doing so hot right now and the cancer is unrelenting and spreading.  She has gone through surgery after surgery and chemo after chemo.  The cancer is unrelenting.  It spread to almost every part of her body it could spread to, but SHE is unrelenting.  Even after a craniotomy to remove tumors from her brain under terrible health conditions, excruciating headaches, never ending nausea, pain almost too unbearable to handle and dehydration from not eating or drinking for a couple days, SHE is unrelenting. 

I went and visited her and talked to her for a while.  We all wear the wounds of cancer and it is visible everywhere even in the voice.  The one place she still holds her beauty and always will is her eyes.  Cancer can't have everything and the eyes are the key to the soul.  Her soul is miraculous and beautiful beyond words.  She has the spirit of a fighting Spartan and the love of the most generous mother.  This cancer is trying to beat her, but SHE is unrelenting.  She is staying strong and she will come out on the other side soon and she will be greeted by her soon to be born first grandson and the return home from her son.  Debbie is UNRELENTING and a champion of life.  

I ask if you have a second, a prayer, positive thought, mental hug or a mental high five for this battle hardened warrior, Debbie.  She needs a little support right now and she will wage this storm.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

FTGF,
Ryan
xo

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Little Kings Foundation!

It is with the biggest smile and best intentions I get to finally say Little Kings Foundation (or LKF) is finally launched and accepting donations at Little Kings!  This is just the first part of what will eventually be a full web site dedicated to young adults fighting cancer and preventative health and wellness.  It will also serve as an outlet for resources and help with fighting cancer in other ways than the traditional 'western treatment.'  This includes an entire mind, body, spiritual, diet and lifestyle philosophy that I have taken to through my journey.  I promise I will never push anything or persuade anyone  to follow in my footsteps, I hope to only give unbiased opinions on as many topics as I think necessary showing both the positive and negative aspects so you as a viewer can make an informed decision.  There are controversies and naysayers for EVERYTHING when it comes to fighting cancer.  The truth of the matter is there is no answer, so my philosophy is to try as many things possible and hope that one of them works.  Chemotherapy and radiation rarely totally cures cancer, and there are thousands of other options many people simply never hear about because their doctor will NEVER talk to you about them.  I am not negating Western Treatment because I do not believe in it, the truth however is on the contrary.  There are thousands of outlets where you can learn and read about Western Treatments, but there is not a stable and credible area that has lots of different 'alternative therapies' and I hope to share those with you through the LKF website.  I will go into much more detail as the web site progresses, as for now if you were one of the many who wanted to donate, the site is live and we have already built a trust due in large to the awesome kindness of our Co-Founder, Ryan Kalil with over $40,000 to help young adults fighting cancer!

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On a not so awesome note, as many of you know I started my most recent round of chemo and this time was not a happy experience.  This round seemed to be much worse than the previous few and I found out why Monday morning when I did my most recent blood labs.  My blood tests came back extremely low and I had to stop all of my treatments until my blood counts stabilize.  I am doing fine and I am staying mentally strong and with this foundation launching I am staying as busy as I possibly can so I don't go crazy over thinking!  I have been a bit tired and I think I can relate to what women experience in 'morning sickness' now, but today I woke up at 5am fully energized and feeling exceptionally well after doing a high dose Vitamin C drip yesterday so I already believe I am on the upswing and on the plus side, I get an extra week off of chemo this month!!!

Thank you to everyone who cares enough to read these and especially to everyone who has or is going to donate to the LKF!  Lets see where we can get in making the world a little bit better together!

"It's not the number of days in a life that matter, it is how you use those days and how many lives you change in those days that matter.  We are all in this together and the only two things in life that are NEVER bad in excess are LOVE and FUN."

WWW.LITTLEKINGS.ORG

FTGF,
Ryan
xo

Monday, May 6, 2013

Round 4; Ready Start!

Another huge gap in posts which there is no excuse for.  When I started this I said I would keep everyone updated and I have been doing a terrible job for which I apologize for.  I have been pretty busy with a lot of different things and just have not sat down to update everyone.

The foundation is coming along exceptionally well and with the help of some awesome people I am really hoping this becomes something awesome.  It is slow moving and building a good web site is more work than I ever would have thought!

Last weekend I went out to Vegas to the Stupid Cancer Young adult cancer summit in Las Vegas.  I met some amazing and wonderfully inspiring people.  I also made some great contacts for the foundation and with the help of other young adult cancer fighters, we had a night of partying (which I payed for dearly the following day.  Guess Im not in college anymore! )  It was such a nice thing to just get away and clear my head for a couple days, this was my first trip since I started treatment and I now realize how relaxing just getting away for a night or 2 can be when going through this nonsense.

This past weekend I got one last chance to soak up the sun and have fun outside before I start my next round of chemo tomorrow (kinda strange how the 5 days I will be on chemo the weather is absolutely terrible and the day I finish it is supposed to be beautiful.)  With my babe of a gf, and a few of our friends, we went out to a nice lunch and enjoyed the sunshine all day Saturday and had an awesome lunch yesterday.

For the next couple months, the best way to keep track of me will be to 'Follow' me on Facebook.  Unless I personally know you, I ask you follow me opposed to become my friend just so I don't have a ton of people I dont know showing up on my wall (not that I don't care, just would probably confuse me more than anything.)  I will continue to try and update this as well, but I am becoming more and more busy with less and less time so with facebook I am able to post small updates.

If anyone is looking for something amazing to experience in Orange County in two weeks an amazing, beautiful and inspiring friend of mine is having a fundraiser to help raise money for breast cancer support.  She has now done it for the last 10 YEARS raising thousands of dollars and she is not even 30 yet!  I have been the last 3 years and it is always a highlight night of my year.  This year will be the biggest to date and I promise you will enjoy yourself.  For all the information, to donate or buy tickets check out Breast Cancer Fundraiser and at Breast Cancer Fundraiser Home Page  to learn about her mission.

Another huge thanks to everyone who has been following my story.  You guys truly inspire me and give me reason to beat this little monster in my head.  He is persistent, but I am unrelenting.

"When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life a million reasons to smile."

FTGF,
Ryan
xo

Beautiful people on a beautiful day.