Saturday, November 3, 2012

8 years ago today was the hardest day of my life.  I lost my mother to breast cancer, actually around this time.  She passed away and I felt hollow.  I swore I would live my life in the moment, I wanted to make sure I had no regrets and I needed to leave.  In fact, no more than a month after she passed away I left.  Maybe I was running from reality or maybe I did just need to get away.  So I packed up and left my family, my then girlfriend and all of my friends to live in San Luis Obispo.  My time in San Luis Obispo was one of the best years of my life.  8 years later I miss her just as much and love her more than ever.  8 Years later I celebrated her, I did not mourn her.  8 years later the most amazing Amy Thompson had Cancer Palooza.  A gathering of people whom in one way or another have cancer affecting their life.  It has been a wild 2 weeks and to think that today was the day my mom passed away and the day of Cancer Palooza kind of makes me think.  I have never been one to believe in fait, I have never said things happend for a reason and I sure as heck never believed in destiny, but for the first time in my life I have had so many things falling into certain places at certain times that I really do have to stop and think.  Next Thursday is my surgery and I am so happy to have my mother watching over me at this time.  She gives me power and my motivation that makes me so optimistic through all of this.  The way I see it Thursday can not come soon enough.  I have a great team and am ecstatic to see my sisters.  So go give your mom an extra big hug tonight because one day you won't be able to.

x



   

4 comments:

  1. Ryan,
    This message touched me deeply. It brought tears to my eyes. I did not know you at the time of your mother's passing. You were so young. You were the quarterback and Scott was the center. That was my connection back then.

    As to the amazing confluence of events and "fate" there is some force that is more than coincidence. Carl Jung wrote of "synchronicity",
    an unexplainable coming together of things and/ or people in our lives. Who knows?

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you this week. Have no fear. It will take a type of courage that I think you have in abundance.

    SRH

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  2. Yesterday...not sure you realize...but you touched a lot of people. Went back into the venue for CancerPalooza today...your name was mentioned several times. Right place, Right time. You opened eyes and I thank you for that.

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  3. I know as a mother your mom is watching over you. When I need strength I depend ONLY on my faith! I pray every night and my prayers always start with my mom and dad, then my children and if you don't know by now you should know I think of you as one of our Kids.
    As a mom I want my kids to know that if I was gone tomorrow I tried to make a difference. I want them to know my love for them is undying. I want them to know when they hurt, I suffer. I want them to know that I have found love and enjoyed life! Your mom I am sure was the same. I saw this picture and of course the tears flowed but that is me just realizing as well we lost Mom Diane right around this time too.
    So today's song is one that as a mother I dedicate to my kids because when I leave this world I leave them to carry on and YOU Ryan will and you will leave your mark just like you did this weekend.
    http://youtu.be/i41qWJ6QjPI

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  4. Ryan,

    You are in the thoughts and prayers of many...

    Go Forward and conquer the Dragon.

    SRH

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