Friday, October 26, 2012

"Cautiously Optimistic"

I met Dr. Stea today and as I knew already, I will have to have my tumor removed.  Brain surgery is never an easy thing, but I feel like I am in good hands with Dr. Stea.  Dr. Stea said based on what he sees in the initial MRI along with my age and where it is in my brain, he is cautiously optimistic that it is benign.  There is absolutely no way to know what kind of tumor it is until it is looked at under the microscope.  This is somewhat of a relief seeing as how 3 days ago I was being told there is a 99% chance that it IS cancer.  Little did I know, the Dr. I spoke to in the ER was a RESIDENT!  I am sure she was just trying to be helpful as much as she could, but in a way I think I owe her a thanks.  I began preparing myself with the thought that I am going to be in a battle with cancer.  In this battle I would have to dramatically re-arrange my life.  Everything from my diet to my way of life would be changing and I was ready for that.  Regardless of weather or not it is cancer, this whole experience has changed my life.  Dramatically.  I am still going to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  I feel like this amazing army of friends and family has helped me in so many ways.  So, still waiting to hear back from the surgery appointment setter to find out when they are gonna chop me open and take out my monster, until then please continue to keep those positive thoughts/prayers/mental hugs coming my way.  I am still not out of the bullets path but I like to think I have my armor well prepared.

Steve Hamrock gave me a book called "Anti Cancer." (Thank you!)  This book is an amazing piece of literature and I think that everyone needs to read it.  Many people don't understand exactly how much of what we put into our body directly affects us in such a negative way.  If only we could see the inside of our body on a molecular level I don't think any person would do some of the things they do to themselves.  To start with, first and foremost my friends who smoke or chew tobacco need to quit.  It is THE ONLY known carcinogen that people knowingly ingest that harms the body in every way possible.  So Alex, Chris, Gio, Stacy, Dan, Davis, Brent, Curtis and anyone I didn't name and all of you other kids who "Smoke when we drink" should probably just quit.  Your body is an amazing machine and is capable of repairing itself as long as you help it.  Smoking cigarettes or chewing tobacco tears down natural defenses your body needs to fight off the bad stuff that can harm us.  Just taking this one toxin out of your body will decrease your chances of having cancer exponentially and it begins to happen within a day!

There is so much more that you can do to help your health and I will make another post about that stuff once I investigate a bit more into it and can be as informative and factually correct as possible.  What I will say now is that my life has changed and I hope that if I can help change one person than all of this will have been worth it.

Thanks again!



  1. Ryan

    Our bodies are vessels for our life-forces. We take them for granted. We fall into patterns of behavior and addiction that diminish the body's health and its quality. Your cancer, if indeed your "monster" is cancer, may or may not be the result of the behaviors and mindset discussed in the "Anti-Cancer" book. But I believe we can reduce the probability of cancers and other afflictions through healthy eating and positive
    mental balance. Perhaps you are on the way to achieve these "anti-cancer" behaviors.

  2. Ryan,

    I hope you are doing well. This is a difficult time, filled with doubt and surges of fear and anxiety. This is a time when you question many things and your beliefs. It is a time when you may see more clearly what is important and what is not. It is a time when the essence of your existence is brought into focus and the wonder of life becomes clearer. This is a time when you may come to appreciate your uniqueness...your "Ryan-ness" separate from all others. This is a time when you will wish you had done things differently..and .said things to others you never said.

    This is a time when you must face yourself and accept and love your "self".

    It is a difficult time...It is a challenging time.

    Whatever may will grow.


  3. Ryan I was thinking about you all day Friday!!!! God was probably flooded with prayers for your health and good news. I must say it sounds like those prayers worked!!! I know we aren't out of the woods yet but with your strength and determination I know you will fight through this and conquer that monster. You have all of us fighting with you and will be here for you through all of it. Stay strong and stay positive like you have been. I know the surgery will be rough but you are so much more than this. I know you will come out on top!!! We love you!! You're in my prayers every night!!!!