I spent one day, not even 6 hours with her and in that time, she left a mark on me that will shape the way I live the rest of my life. In our brief encounter I could feel her energy like a the feeling you get standing too close to a powerful magnet. Her soul resonated with beauty and no matter how much she threw up she managed to smile after. I watched a 16 year old women suffering from a terrible form of cancer that not only caused pain, but wrecked havoc on her breathing and all the fun nausea, vomiting, fatigue and anxiety that we get to endure as a cancer family. Pain is bad enough, she got the trifecta. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to make the world a better place and losing Lola has no doubt inspired me once again. I want to thank you Lola, you truly changed my outlook on what was already a skewed perspective. I am bummed we are going to miss our date in New York watching the ball drop for our first time together, but when I finally go you will be with me. I mourn you today and I am sure for a long time to come, but I know what I have to do and I know you are a part of the reason I have to do it.
In my mind, I know what my end game can be. I know what I am up against and it scares me sometimes. I put on a good face, but there are times where I do get scared and anxious that I might not make it to 30. Treatment is hard and fighting this cancer wears on me. I'll have been on chemo of one sort or another for over 180 days, 30 days of high dose radiation under my belt, countless IV's, blood draws, labs, MRI's, scans, appointments and who knows what else when I finish all of this and then I get to go into 'remission' if I am lucky. And even in 'remission' I will still be doing MRI's every 2 or 3 months for the rest of my life. It is a lot of pain, it is hard and it sucks, but watching Lola fight for so long put even more perspective into my life. After watching Lola go through what she went through, I no longer have any of the fears that I had before. Now, I simply hope that in the time I have, whether it is 2 years or 52 years that I can help to inspire some people the way that Lola inspired me.
"I love you to the moon and back."
Lauren 'Lola' Scott
Little Kings- Helping Young Adults with cancer.