Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Happy New Year!

To say my year ended with a bang would be an understatement.  I think 2012 was a strange year for many of us and I for one am welcoming 2013 with open arms.  It's not that 2012 was all terrible, I started a new job, bought my first car and enjoyed some great memories with amazing friends - it was the ending that i was not too thrilled about.  Looking back, I can honestly say I wouldn't have changed a thing (aside from the obvious.)

I am considering 2013 a new beginning.  This is the year that I prove that sometimes people can beat the cancer odds.  This is the year that I show everyone what some fight and a little hope can truly accomplish.  This is the year that I start living my life the way I have always wanted and I stop worrying and stressing about the things in life that don't really matter.  2013 will be dedicated to helping others; helping people who are worse off than I am and asking nothing in return.  This is the first chapter of my new life: "Life post terminal brain cancer diagnosis."  It is strange saying that, reading it or hearing it, but that is my new reality.  When we are faced to accept our mortality at a young age, it can be a daunting and terrifying experience.  For me it was a moment of clarity.  It reminded me of a quote that I heard a while back, "Get busy living or get busy dying."  This quote speaks volumes to me more so now than ever before.    I am setting out on a battle that might look as if there is no possible way that there can be a positive outcome, but truly is just a matter of perspective.  I have seen how terrible life can be and I have witnessed how beautiful it truly is.  This is merely an ugly chapter, it's one of those areas in a book where you wish you could speed past it and simply get to the end.  Living the words daily, my new life is one with direction and lazer focus on a simple task: everyday live my life like it is my last.  This is the ultimate goal for any human and I truly think if everyone took this mindset in a positive fashion the world would be a totally different place.

With this new mindset I am now on a path of healing.  I am 16 days out of brain surgery and all but healed (minus a copious amount of liquid in my skull swishing around constantly.)  I am diligently seeking therapies, remedies, medicines and any other voodoo cures anyone swears by.  The way i see it, if it worked for someone else, maybe it will work for me.  That being said, my diet is once again in transition.  I am switching to a raw organic cancer fighting diet that will include numerous supplements and for the most part foods that I will not enjoy.  This means I will be cutting all sugars and additives of any kind from my diet and returning to a diet that we evolved on over millions of years.  I will begin oxygen therapy in hyperbaric chambers.  I am seeking guidance from nutritionists and will be going to Houston Texas to meet with the doctors at the Burzynski Clinic (http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/) to see if they can be any help to me.  On top of all of this, I am 90% sure I will begin an intense regimen of chemo and radiation that will ultimately poison my body to a toxic level only in the hope that maybe this will help me in some way.  I will do anything in my power to rid myself of this ailment, but I do have my limits.  If this is the last leg of my journey on this planet, I plan on living my life as awesomely as I possibly can.  With this being considered, if I get to the point where it seems like I have exhausted all of my options with no chance left, I plan on living my remaining time doing the things I want to most.  I think every person deserves to live their life the way they want to for some time before they die, most people do it later in life, I happen to get the blessing of youth for my time!!

My 28th birthday is in a month and 14 days.  28 years on this little planet of ours is not a terribly large amount of time.  For most, it is dreadfully short.  For me, I am thankful for everyday I spent here and I will never complain.  I have lived my life the way I want to and I have made mistakes. I have loved and lost.  I have travelled to foreign lands and seen the beauty earth has to offer.  I have seen the ugly and everything in between.  Whether I am here for 2 more years or 50, I am appreciative for everyone I have met.  Every person has impacted me in some way and shaped me into who I am today.  I hope I have been a positive influence to everyone I have met and I apologize to everyone for my shortcomings.

"Life is crazy and then you die."  I plan on embracing life's sense of irony, beauty, disaster and everything else it has to offer.  I hope you all will do the same.

Thank you all for reading my random thoughts and thank you exponentially for everything you all have done for me.

Follow me on Instagram to see my daily photos of this journey @coffsauce


My sister and her amazing friends are planning on throwing a benefit show for me to try and raise some money for my therapies which will quickly top well over 50k.  It will likely be in early - mid February and they are taking anything you have to offer.   If you or anyone you know wants any information about the show please e-mail me at johnryancoffelt{at}gmail{dot}com and I will put you in contact with the necessary people.

Thank you all again,

xx
My New Year consisted of Walking Dead, Pizza and a beer!
Ryan

5 comments:

  1. Happy New Year! You've already Got this beat!! And i pray for nothing but positive news from the Burzynski Clinic. Fight On brother! (No USC affiliation) Unless thats your team!

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  2. Happy to New Year to You too. I felt funny wishing you a Happy New Year BUT I did it and I felt better for doing it. You and my darling Natashia have already touch SOOOOOOO many people that you can't even imagine. My friends all tell me what a brave and positive person you BOTH are. That alone will kick this cancers ass.
    I love that you are living for today!!! I had forgotten that somethings just don't matter but the happiness that is in your heart NOW will drive you to the happier place in the end. And NO I am not talking Mc Donald's although I am going to miss those cheeseburgers and Big Macs. But away with the sugars and processed foods. Once and awhile I will but mostly not.
    I can tell you as a mom I cry my tears for you and Tash because it's hard sometimes to just be that strong but here you two are. Maybe in private you have those moments but when I see those HUGE smiling teeth my heart grows strong again. And trust me you don't want both Tash and I in there arguing with doctors. AW HELL NO!!! I don't know where she gets that from LOL.
    I am proud of you every day. This is your battle to fight and Dave and I will help however you need. And just know every time you leave the White House your gonna get that HUG from lil old me because that is just what moms do!

    Love Always (tasha's mom) Dodie

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  3. I've been following your blog since you first started. I don't know you and you don't know me (obviously) but I wanted to say how proud I am of you. Your courage and amazing words do not go without touching the lives of everybody who knows you or reads your blogs. I've been apart of the cancer community for years, we are a very tight group of people. We are also a blessed group of people because after you or a loved one is affect by cancer, you then receive the "gift of life" aka when you truly start living. The sky is bluer, the grass is greener, and you really get to marvel in everything that life on earth has to offer. It doesn't matter how long it takes to receive this gift or how much time you have it for, I just feel sorry for those wondering this earth without it. It's best put by Julie Roberts in the movie Steel Magnolias, "I rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special". I've have a couple of friends in the cancer community who have survived the impossible. I'm rooting for you and I know your going to kick some cancer ass :)

    Always standing by with support,
    Jenna

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  4. Ryan....

    That pizza looks pretty tasty....was it delivered or was it from the frozen food section?

    You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.

    SRH

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  5. God's Touch

    Have you ever questioned how some things come about,
    How they seem to fit so perfectly?
    How it couldn't have been done any better,
    Unless there was some kind of trickery?

    It seems as if magic, got the job done,
    Or maybe it was just simply chance.
    And then again when looked back upon,
    You decide it must be simply circumstance?

    Yet things seem so in line so in-tune;
    Things are exactly as they should be.
    How could magic or chance get the credit,
    For something that has come about so perfectly?


    Start Where You Are . . .

    Start where you are now,
    Find the blessings, as you go back.
    As you look, remember and count,
    You will see an ever growing stack.

    No matter the stage of your life,
    No matter the challenges or changes you face,
    Blessings are there, some waiting to be noticed,
    All continuing to fill your space.

    As you come back to now,
    Cherish the thoughts you view,
    Remember what you have seen,
    Know that blessings await, as you continue.

    God's Touch, one of those things influenced by God.
    One of those things that puts everything into place;
    One of those things that influences all the others,
    In what you do and what you face.

    You are & continue to touch lives with your thoughts, words, & actions. God is using you in a mighty way!!!

    Huston is a big place. But then you are used to big places. Unlike some of us hicks from the sticks. Ask your dad about wearing my garage door opener. Got a good laugh & memorable story.

    Love you,
    Aunt Sue

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