Monday, May 27, 2013

It is an interesting and very tight rope we learn to walk when fighting cancer.  Positivity and optimism are almost as crucial (if not more) than the treatment itself.  Many people are diagnosed and in their minds that is it.  Upon hearing the news they go home, lock themselves away and accept an early death not even thinking they have a shot.  This is not an irrational way of dealing with cancer and with all the evidence suggesting this is usually the end game, this way of thinking is totally understandable.  The thing is though, this gets you nowhere and only makes what time you think you have left more and more devastating.  The mental side of cancer is almost unbearable at times.  Nobody wants to accept their own mortality and the fact that it is your own body that is trying to kill itself makes it exponentially worse.

Staying positive and never once thinking that my end is anywhere near me has kept me going.  I am not an idiot nor naive to the point where I deny where this road could lead, but I chose not think about that.  Yes, it is hard.  It is the hardest thing ever sometimes, but that is temporary and it, like everything else will eventually pass.  When it is not hard, life is even more amazing than it was before.  You see things differently, you accept things easier, you start to see things you never noticed before in other people and recognizing peoples positive and negative energies either draws you or pulls you away from people in your life.  Never giving in and never giving up is the only option for me and everyone else in this unchosen war for life.  

An extremely close family friend and second mother of mine is currently in the same battle I am in.  She is fighting an aggressive breast cancer with her war waging for over 2 and a half years now.  She is the ultimate warrior of life and she is stronger than anyone I know.  She is not doing so hot right now and the cancer is unrelenting and spreading.  She has gone through surgery after surgery and chemo after chemo.  The cancer is unrelenting.  It spread to almost every part of her body it could spread to, but SHE is unrelenting.  Even after a craniotomy to remove tumors from her brain under terrible health conditions, excruciating headaches, never ending nausea, pain almost too unbearable to handle and dehydration from not eating or drinking for a couple days, SHE is unrelenting. 

I went and visited her and talked to her for a while.  We all wear the wounds of cancer and it is visible everywhere even in the voice.  The one place she still holds her beauty and always will is her eyes.  Cancer can't have everything and the eyes are the key to the soul.  Her soul is miraculous and beautiful beyond words.  She has the spirit of a fighting Spartan and the love of the most generous mother.  This cancer is trying to beat her, but SHE is unrelenting.  She is staying strong and she will come out on the other side soon and she will be greeted by her soon to be born first grandson and the return home from her son.  Debbie is UNRELENTING and a champion of life.  

I ask if you have a second, a prayer, positive thought, mental hug or a mental high five for this battle hardened warrior, Debbie.  She needs a little support right now and she will wage this storm.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."


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