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So, I guess those generic sleeping pills from target are well worth it.  Had an amazing night of sleep last night after nearly nil the previous 2.  Waking up refreshed instead of full of anxiety and nervousness is a much appreciated feeling.  It really is amazing how much your mindset changes when you are faced with an overwhelming situation.  I watched my mother battle cancer and through her struggles I learned to appreciate things that I probably took for granted.  Over time I began to forget how to be thankful for what I have rather than worrying about what I don't.  Now that I am experiencing this first hand, it is at a whole new level.  I am truly SOOOOOO thankful and gracious for the HUGE ARMY of friends and family that I never even knew I had.  My Servite Family has come back in droves and people I didn't even go to school with are coming out and standing with me.  Like the tattoo on my shoulder says which I got in honor of my mother, I will Fight the Good Fight.  My family and friends are incredible to say the least.  It is hard not to be emotional in times like this, but I refuse to cry.  I will not shed a tear because like Lisa Sahagun a fellow tumor survivor says, this is a business transaction.  It will be met and greeted like so.  The outcome will be in my favor because I am a businessman.

"One step at a time.  One day at a time.  I will stay in the now an live for the next moment I am given."
This small mantra is something I am finding myself saying more and more.  Life is truly a gift and you given every breathe you take.  Once you forget that or deny that, life will show you exactly why you need to pay closer attention.  I am not trying to get super mushy or philosophical, but if there is one message I want to get across from all of this, it is don't stop and smell the roses.  Live life like you have no tomorrow and love everyone like they are the closest thing to you.  I was a perfectly healthy 27 year old young adult on a pretty decent life path 3 days ago.  Today I have a potentially life threatening monster dwelling in the darkness of my brain.  Sometimes life throws you curveballs and you have to adjust your swing, but don't forget that it is a gift and YOU MUST experience the bad in life to love and cherish the good.

LOVE!

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 26, 2012 at 9:59 AM

    Ryan - That was super inspirational. I have been reading your blog and you really are a fighter and a very strong person. You will come out on top, I have no doubt. Good luck today, I am hoping for the best for you. You rock :)

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