The Journey

Only 4 weeks, or 21 rounds of radiation left.  Oh and another extra few weeks of chemo.  And then there is the rest of my life.  My life which is now completely and utterly different in every way imaginable.  Everything about me is different, my attitude on life, my philosophy and inspirations, my goals, dreams, wants and needs, my mental and physical health and everything in between.  It is a long road and it is the rest of my life.  Something like a GBM does not just vanish one day, it might go into remission, but there is always going to be a chance that it will one day come back.  I will do everything I can to win this battle and keep it gone for as long as my body will allow me.  This is important to me and it is important to the ones who love me, I have to fight and I have to win.   Natashia had a long talk with me on Friday night, a talk that needed to be had.  I can honestly say up until then, I might not have been taking this...

High school...  I think that was the last time I knew exactly what I wanted, should and needed to do.  It is all too often that us as humans as a whole fall into routines we do not really appreciate nor want.  We take the job that pays the most.  We settle for what we think we deserve, but deep down know we know we are meant for more.  We do not take time out of our days to appreciate life.  We forget and take for granted what we absolutely adored in our youth.  Our minds become institutionalized on the daily grind of what we think we need.  We collect 'things' we think we need to modify and enhance our lives, but only later we find these things eventually begin to become more important to us then the ones we love.  I fully understand, appreciate and RESPECT the work we put in on a daily basis.  This is the motor that keeps our world moving and if we all decided to quit our jobs the economy as we know it would collapse and we would hate ...

The past week has been an interesting turn in our journey.  I am learning more and more about oncology, health and the brain everyday.  I can honestly say by the end of this I will basically be a borderline doctor and probably more knowledgeable then some of the ones I have seen lately.  Learning more and more everyday, it is becoming more and more clear to me that doctors can in some ways be blinded by their education.  It is sad, but I think they eventually become too scientific and forget that the human body is an amazing and complex machine that actually has the power to do more than we give it credit for.  NONE of my doctors have ever once said anything to me about diet, exposure to toxins, style of life, travel experiences, or the combination of them all.  When I inquire about what I can do on my end to help, all they have for me is to maintain a positive outlook and stay happy, get some exercise and eat your vegetables.  How can a DOC...

It might not be the easiest thing to do, but it is certainly not the hardest.  Moving forward after a terminal diagnosis is in a way a new beginning.  It is like a new book yet to be written.  The outcome is up in the air and the chapters will be written in the coming months.  I know they are few and far between, but people have beat this monster.  People are 10-15 years living past their diagnosis tumor free and healthy.  I plan on being in that minority and living the shit out of life.  Most people live their entire lives in question; worrying, stressing, hurting and wanting, wanting, wanting.  I have found since December 26th I have found a strange sense of peace.  One would think it would be the opposite, but I know that anyway this goes I am happy with the way I have lived my life.  You become so much more appreciative of everyday, every person and every moment shared with the ones you love and who love you.  Food seems to...

To say my year ended with a bang would be an understatement.  I think 2012 was a strange year for many of us and I for one am welcoming 2013 with open arms.  It's not that 2012 was all terrible, I started a new job, bought my first car and enjoyed some great memories with amazing friends - it was the ending that i was not too thrilled about.  Looking back, I can honestly say I wouldn't have changed a thing (aside from the obvious.) I am considering 2013 a new beginning.  This is the year that I prove that sometimes people can beat the cancer odds.  This is the year that I show everyone what some fight and a little hope can truly accomplish.  This is the year that I start living my life the way I have always wanted and I stop worrying and stressing about the things in life that don't really matter.  2013 will be dedicated to helping others; helping people who are worse off than I am and asking nothing in return. ...