The Journey

Posts

Encore

So here we are again. Allllllmost made it 9 years. 9 years is a long time. 9 years with GBM is basically a lifetime. Allow me to welcome back those that were with me on my first tumor journey (and thanks again) and hello to all the new friends that are just joining me for this one. I decided to brush off this old blog to use as my go forward updating tool so everyone can read or re-read what the first time around looked like. If you followed my first journey, you will know that I will always be real no matter what: the good the bad and the total shit.. so here we go. I'll start by saying that I am physically and mentally ok. The initial shock was a lot to take in and I knew this was always basically inevitable, but I also kind of thought / hoped I had dodged the bullet. I found out the tumor was showing recurrence a few weeks ago. After my standard grace period of 24 hours for moping and sorrow, I immediately got back to work. Being that this is my second time around the block, I

Grattitude

While living in LA I started doing something upon a friends recommendation. I noticed I was slowly wearing down living in the city of Angels in the respectively cold Southern California Winter. Everyday walking to and from the hospital two sometimes three times a day only to arrive back at an empty small and dark apartment which was not the most hospitable environment and full of other cancer fighters- one of which died while I was living there. They were all exceptionally older than myself and when we encountered one another we would merely silently nod, smile and acknowledged that we were in the same war waging inside ourselves. Not a single word was ever spoken to any of my neighbors, but we all had the bond of battling for our lives. Living in this environment was not a great way to stay mentally healthy, but it also made me face the reality and severity of what I was up against. One day I went and had lunch with a friend Greyson and ironically at a cafe called Gratitude.

...and I thought it would get easier.

I always had this idea in my head of fighting like hell, winning my fight with cancer, moving on with my life and living happily ever after. I guess I wasn't being too realistic with myself since my mentality from day one has been "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best." Even before I abruptly ended all my treatments I realized that I needed to start working again. My treatment dosages were being gradually reduced and other than the first morning after my chemo I was basically fully functional again. I built up some debt that wasn't doing anything but getting higher and staying at home all alone everyday was getting really old. After I stopped all Western treatments there was no doubt in my mind any longer, if I didn't find ways to stay busy I think I might lose my mind. I remained an employee of my previous employer and planned on returning back there upon completion of my treatment, but situations changed and I was no longer able to return. This was n

One year later.

The longest and most stressful slash amazing year of my life has finally ended. 365 days ago at about 9am I found out I had a tumor in my brain. That tumor turned out to be cancer. That cancer turned out to be one of the worst cancers around. A year ago marked the beginning of a new lifelong battle that has only just begun. 365 days ago I began a road that will shape how the rest of my life will be navigated. When I speak to my close friends about the upcoming 'anniversary' they always comment on how fast the year went by. For me, this past year seemed like it lasted 5. I guess being on this side of the fence is a bit different, I am just glad it is finally over! My progress with this cancer has put me into a very small population of people. GBM's are notorious for regrowing quite rapidly and not a very large percentage of GBM patients go as long as I have without showing any signs of regrowth- lets pray this continues for another 50 years! It has been quite a w

Goodbye Summer

It's been a few weeks since I last post and a stressful slash amazing few weeks they have been. The last post I did was from Portland. I was visiting my family up there enjoying one final trip to the Pacific Northwest before Summer officially ends. It was an amazing trip filled with adventure, memories, amazing scenery and most of all love. Not being able to drive to my sisters homes whenever I want just to chat is often times frustrating since we are all so close as a family. Getting to see them always makes me whatever stresses or worries I have diminish and I am able to forget about the 'C word' for a little bit. My last trip closed with some really tough news that I was not expecting at all. When I started this whole journey I was introduced to and met some amazing people, including some new friends from all over the world. Obviously I have yet to meet a lot of them in person, but we often chat via e-mail or text. The young adult cancer community is quite a bi

Staying sane while wandering the 'cancer road' is not that easy of a task. I don't know how many of you have taken the time to read into the type of cancer I am currently fighting, but of the cancers that are out there GBM's are not the best option. Obviously cancer is cancer and there is not a single one out there that is in anyway good, but GBM's are one of the more aggressive and deadly. I try my hardest to not look at statistics and I go out of my way to not read anything regarding my ailment because 99% of the time it is just bad news, but sometimes it is unavoidable. Today was one of those days. My last post was regarding one of the strongest persons I have ever met. Lauren 'Lola' Scott taught me what strength is in a way nobody else could. She didn't have the same cancer, but hers was just as bad. She fought from the day she was a teenager until her departure at 16. I started Little Kings to keep my mind occupied and help out other peo