The Journey

To be honest I have no idea how this is going to play out 6 months, a year, 20 years, 40 years from now...  What I do know is that brain cancer as of today has been the best thing that has happened to me.  Yes it is hard as fuck and there are times where my body feels like it is rejecting itself from the inside out, but it is a small price to pay for inspiration.  I just turned 28 and it took me that long for my life to begin.  Up until now, I have been floating from stop-gap to stop-gap.  I never had any direction and everyday I woke more and more frustrated with myself.  I have surrounded myself with great people of all walks of life from CEO's of multi-million dollar companies, professional athletes, inspiring philanthropists and humanitarians, amazing artists of all walks, and countless driven individuals with direction.  I on the other hand have been passing time trying to figure out what the hell I am doing with my life.  Going from job...

After another 2 week hiatus and I apologize.  I have been exceptionally busy on the weekends and I have no internet access while I stay in LA aside from my phone.  Today I finally get to give a full report on the event we had at Detroit Bar and my birthday weekend which was both hard and amazing.  The third part of this post will be an explanation of my 'new life.'  There are things that have been set in motion that are now trains and will become very hard to stop.  To say this experience has changed my life is both cliche and an extreme understatement at the same time.  So lets start with the event that was on 2/9. HOLY SHIT.  Thats all I can say about that.  I am STILL utterly shocked, amazed, awed, inspired, motivated, grateful, moved and touched by ALL the support that was shown.  There were close to 430 people who eventually passed through the doors of the place at one time or another.  I was scared, absolutely petrified...

Some things get me thinking... I have now been in treatment for brain cancer going on three weeks.  I have had my ups and downs just like any other person going through the wonderful world of chemo and radiation therapy.  Tuesday night I got the results from my latest lab work back and my white blood cell count dropped pretty low.  I was instructed to hold off on the chemo until my numbers stabilized and I was not at such a high risk to get overly sick.  I went on a 2 day "chemocation 2013" and it was glorious.  I had my energy back, I slept better and felt healthy again...  And then I tested again Friday and was told to start my chemo again...  Dang...  It was fun while it lasted.  I am not trying to say my chemo is terrible and I know for a fact that compared to most people going through what I am, I am literally on an island vacation.  My side effects have been minimal and I have yet to vomit once (knoc...

Only 4 weeks, or 21 rounds of radiation left.  Oh and another extra few weeks of chemo.  And then there is the rest of my life.  My life which is now completely and utterly different in every way imaginable.  Everything about me is different, my attitude on life, my philosophy and inspirations, my goals, dreams, wants and needs, my mental and physical health and everything in between.  It is a long road and it is the rest of my life.  Something like a GBM does not just vanish one day, it might go into remission, but there is always going to be a chance that it will one day come back.  I will do everything I can to win this battle and keep it gone for as long as my body will allow me.  This is important to me and it is important to the ones who love me, I have to fight and I have to win.   Natashia had a long talk with me on Friday night, a talk that needed to be had.  I can honestly say up until then, I might not have been taking this...

High school...  I think that was the last time I knew exactly what I wanted, should and needed to do.  It is all too often that us as humans as a whole fall into routines we do not really appreciate nor want.  We take the job that pays the most.  We settle for what we think we deserve, but deep down know we know we are meant for more.  We do not take time out of our days to appreciate life.  We forget and take for granted what we absolutely adored in our youth.  Our minds become institutionalized on the daily grind of what we think we need.  We collect 'things' we think we need to modify and enhance our lives, but only later we find these things eventually begin to become more important to us then the ones we love.  I fully understand, appreciate and RESPECT the work we put in on a daily basis.  This is the motor that keeps our world moving and if we all decided to quit our jobs the economy as we know it would collapse and we would hate ...

The past week has been an interesting turn in our journey.  I am learning more and more about oncology, health and the brain everyday.  I can honestly say by the end of this I will basically be a borderline doctor and probably more knowledgeable then some of the ones I have seen lately.  Learning more and more everyday, it is becoming more and more clear to me that doctors can in some ways be blinded by their education.  It is sad, but I think they eventually become too scientific and forget that the human body is an amazing and complex machine that actually has the power to do more than we give it credit for.  NONE of my doctors have ever once said anything to me about diet, exposure to toxins, style of life, travel experiences, or the combination of them all.  When I inquire about what I can do on my end to help, all they have for me is to maintain a positive outlook and stay happy, get some exercise and eat your vegetables.  How can a DOC...

It might not be the easiest thing to do, but it is certainly not the hardest.  Moving forward after a terminal diagnosis is in a way a new beginning.  It is like a new book yet to be written.  The outcome is up in the air and the chapters will be written in the coming months.  I know they are few and far between, but people have beat this monster.  People are 10-15 years living past their diagnosis tumor free and healthy.  I plan on being in that minority and living the shit out of life.  Most people live their entire lives in question; worrying, stressing, hurting and wanting, wanting, wanting.  I have found since December 26th I have found a strange sense of peace.  One would think it would be the opposite, but I know that anyway this goes I am happy with the way I have lived my life.  You become so much more appreciative of everyday, every person and every moment shared with the ones you love and who love you.  Food seems to...